A winter blunderlanding

Quit your whining man, and slap on the antlers, " tell you something groundiver if I cant get out of this suit at 3000, I'm going to kill you"

Ok the plan, Clive, Stan, my old mate Bob, Reg Blitsom and Pete Rancer have kindly agreed to don the reindeer suits, we have built in a safety mechanism which with the aid of an AAD, will fire you out of the stags arse at a predetermined setting.

We have nicknamed this, the "Elkometer" as Reg is not familiar with technical stuff.

Meanwhile R.G.D will be riding the sleigh.

A night drop is the plan to create a little authenticity.

On the night of the drop, Clive was arrested crossing the road near the DZ, we spoke to him on the phone at the police station, but the call was cut short by a loud bang, followed by a scream from a female officer, I heard the words "jeepers its arse has exploded" he still bares the scars from the Antlers.

Ok one reindeer short but the drops still on, having convinced the pilot this was a trip to a fancy dress party.

Having managed to sneak open the cargo door during the flight the draught noise was intense, the pilot was looking over his shoulder,I think he smelt a rat.

We quickly rang out with a rendition "We Wish you a merry Christmas" the pillock chucked us 50p.


Dive, dive,dive

Because of the loading order, I was now reversing a sleigh at 12000ft, swiftly followed by four reindeers, first time I have heard a reindeer shout "f*cking teacakes"

For all our effort it was not possible to maneuver the sleigh into the correct position, at 3000 there were four loud bangs and I was promptly sharing the sky chariot with quadruple elks.

We managed to separate at 1200 a bloody dangerous altitude,due to the Elkometer situation earlier, the lads were straight onto their reserves, apart from Reg Blitsom who became the first ballistic moose in Doncaster.

I experienced my first malfunction, and entered the chimney pot at 120 plus, the look on the parents face round the fire was a picture.