The plan is let old squadron leader Connely take me high in his
canvas and sticks,
Then demand that he performs a loop for my £60, prior to which I have
released my seat belt.
Now £60 would be an expensive drop, but I intend to claim a refund by
meeting your man back on the tarmac and saying that the pillock forgot to
put me in the plane before setting off. He has to be a forgetful old codger
with the obligitary handlebar tash.
Day of the drop, "good morning young man lovely day for it",
"It is sir, lovely machine".
"Ok young man pop yourself in the front", "SHIT.thats blown it"
30 mins into the flight, "I say young man would you like to do a sharp
bank", I was just nodding off, "er would you be kind enough to do a loop
"I say old chap rather brave aren't we",
As we climbed into the loop I tried to distract his attention from me.
"BANDITS!!!!! BANDITS 6 O CLOCK". I shouted.
He snapped straight into action, "come on you fu*!!ing gerries",
never heard a man of that age swear so badly.
"Come on you mothers lets have it out".
Jeepers he has snapped straight back to world war one.
I'm out of here, lovely descent, all I could hear was rapid machine gun fire
as I landed at the aerodrome.
I slithered off back home.
The news report on the TV that night shocked me, it stated that a crazed
world war one veteran had suffered post traumatic stress disorder taken back
to the skies in his beloved
Sopwith Camel shot down 15 civilian aircraft and blown up 2 large hangers at
his own airfield.
He then proceeded to destroy his own aircraft on landing, he was taken away
in a sraight jacket mumbling.
They say a parachutist near to the incident was lucky to escape with his
Decided not to pursue the re-fund.