Ever thought of straddling an old de-commisioned Soviet MIG jet engine.
Strap yourself down using an old belt, and pour a litre of aviation fuel into the tank.....on the other hand try methylated spirits, it's probably cheaper and you can always have a wee singsong with the tramp first.
Nothing like a social event before things get exciting !
Use a litre first cos' its just enough to get you to altitude, before you unbuckle the belt and let go ... the rest as they say is up to you !!