OT - a seasonal project in dire need

Sorry fellow gravity fighters, but I have had to delay the new launch device, and channel all my work on a more pressing engagement, as we are about to suffer the irritating period known as Christmas, I had to invent something fast.

I'm halfway through the manufacture of an electrical trick device, called the jollification terminator.

Due to continuous annoying carol singers last year, I am preparing a device to render your standard yuletide soprano, useless

Thus making this Christmas slightly more tolerable than last, and lessening the burden on ones wallet into the bargain.

It consists of a magnesium oxide flash tray positioned above them, to distract their attention, followed by a compressed air ram that drives a 9ft scaffold pole through the letterbox.

I tried out a manually operated version on those bloody trick or treaters resulting in a triple pumpkin kebab topped of with a little skelington

It did the trick and worked a treat.

For the noel festivities would you recommend a PIR activation or is there a device on the market that can detect a moronic rendition of we "wish you a
merry BLOODY Christmas

Patent applied for.