Speak to me mammy

This jump was suggested by Mr I Peters.

"Tickets please" "One adult to London Kings Cross please" Thankyou.

Just as a matter of interest sir at what speed will the train cross the Welwyn Viaduct, "sorry im just the ticket cheker my lad, £36.95p please"

Bloody Nora more expensive than an air lift.

The plan is at a point about a mile away from the viaduct im going to venture out onto the train roof, at a set point I'm going to release the canopy and float over the parapet, of the mighty Welwyn Viaduct, a loud cry of "who's you're daddy ?" and into the abyss.

Not sure on the height of this thing, im going to use the speed of the train for lift.

"Never mind as to why missus get that bloody trolley out the way", I could see my opportunity arriving round the bend.

8 secs later I was passed the bitch, amazing how pursuasive a finger in the eye can be.

Having wrestled my way past numerous people, I made for the nearest exit,

3,2,1 GO.

"OK son we will have you out in no time", from all the 999 programmes I have watched, that roughly translates to.

You are in deep shit and its going to be an 8 hour extraction.

Standing astride the hopper gates, used to charge turbine No.3 at West Burton power station, with a face like Al Jolson, was not the plan.

The rail company decided that riding a coal wagon amounted to a return journey and offered me no refund.

Tried to blame Ivan Peters said they had never heared of him.